I hate how I get attached so easily, like when I start talking to a girl and we end up not going out, I always stay having feelings even though I criticize people when they get attached..Whenever I start to like a girl, I have a feeling that I get clingy faster than her...I dont really like people like me, being a dick all the time, you know, how I can be such an asshole and expect people to know im kidding or how I expect people to get over things in a snap or forget how I just yelled at them... Like how I want to be friends with people I'm mean to, like how I want to be friends with people I've lost...I hate the feeling when you have to leave a familiar place and the feeling when you lose something you never had but you could've, basically wanting what i cant have..I hate not being able to refuse alot of what my friends ask of me, for some reason its hella hard for me to say no, at least to things that are within my capacity to do..
I think I'd rather be a popular idiot over a lonely genius
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btw I think I'm getting desperate, talking to these beezys, someone stop me from settling :( I see these relationships around and I really want something like it but I also see girls and just wanna have fun.. I need tons of help, I wanna spill my soul but I'd much rather talk in person ...... So much for trying to wear my heart on my sleeve.
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Anywho, I've been waaaay under the weather theses days, for about a week, give or take. Had a sore throat and felt like I had a cold but I kept going to school cause I had finals. I think I got hella sick cause I just went to the doctors and they said I had a beginning of an ear infection and signs of strep throat :( I hope I get better soon.
